I have started using an analogy to explain what happens when you feel dis-satisfied with your meditation session, and I find most relate to it quite well - so here it is.
Same thing happened with the talk with my parents last weekend. Didn't feel good during the call, but then did some work and had some internal dialogue with my higher self that felt really really good. But then crashed the next morning. Perhaps because of the topic itself?
Meditation seems to not be a good choice when I get in these states because I just tend to go deeper into the negative. Would you agree on the choice of journaling?
It is interesting to read your email.
It is really very simple from where I stand. You are getting used to being in the vicinity of the vortex, but you are not stable there. That is why people are able to yank you off your higher disc. Then you beat up on yourself, because you know better now - you know that there is no need to be yanked away. You do the conversation and get back up on a higher disc, but your vibration is still not stable enough for you to be able to keep yourself there. That's all.
What's stopping you from having that conversation again? nothing - right? so why not?
I agree that sometimes it is harder than other times to calm down for meditation session. But remember that there is no right or wrong way to meditate - there is no good or bad meditation - there is just meditation.
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Besides, meditation doesn't mean the absence of thought - it means "focused thought". And the thought we focus on is something unimportant like the dripping of a tap, or the hum of an appliance, your breathing - in other words some thing that has nothing to do with your normal thoughts. One of the questions I get asked often is "how do I stop my mind from wandering during meditation?" The answer is - you don't. You can't stop thought, you can only slow it down.
You can improve your meditation experience by doing some deep breathing prior and pre-paving it like this"
"I want my meditation session to help raise my vibration. I want to relax and quiet my mind. I want to clear the communication channel between me and my Inner-being, so that I can allow the guidance that I know is there for me at all times. I want to be able to interpret my guidance and allow it to lead me to my greater well-being."
And and then trust that it is so. Trust that even though you cannot see the result, or in this case feel the result in this moment that a vibrational shift did take place and that it is going to lead you towards your great good.
Journalling is good too - as long as you can keep your focus positive - if not then it can actually do more harm than good.
This is all just a part of the journey - I've been there too - we all go through the same stuff until we learn to trust.
Love you lots,