The only difference is that listening to Abraham and working with Abraham material, and developing my own strategies for implementing the law of attraction has taught me an important lesson: “thoughts create – emotions manifest”. Over the years, I have made deliberate conscious effort to connect with my feelings and emotions. Adversity early in life, had made me “strong” – in other words, I had practiced numbing my emotions so that I wouldn’t feel the pain. All the work that I have done has taught me that we need both thoughts and emotions and we have to keep bridging the gap between the two. So what I want most is to teach my friend to stop living in his head and start bridging that gap. I will call him Rick. The thing that has Rick’s attention just now is his money situation.
And then on the other hand I have a friend who lives in emotion all the time, but doesn’t do the thinking work as much as he needs to so that he can flip negative emotion to positive emotion. Thought is the bridge between negative and positive emotion, but it’s the emotion that leads to manifestation. I will call him Ken. The work Ken needs to do has to do with his marriage. He has to make it work or walk away.
It’s an interesting contrast for me to observe these two people and be able to see their journey. I have learnt so much from both of them for which I have much appreciation.
We give birth to new desires by thinking thoughts. Thoughts generate the energy that defines our preferences about the way we want things to be. Once we have given birth to a desire, it can be manifested, but only if we switch from the thought to the emotion. We have a choice you see – we can switch to the emotion of having the manifestation of our desire, which is a feeling of joy or we can switch to the emotion of lack or absence of the thing we desire which is a feeling of frustration or sadness.
You see, it doesn’t matter what emotion you switch to – you will have a manifestation from that place on the emotional scale. The frequency or type of emotion you're feeling simply defines how much you will enjoy the manifestation that comes. When you feel joy, more joyous things happen, when you feel worry, more worrisome events come your way – that’s all. Either way, manifestation is on the way.
Every time we give birth to a desire it is from a place of lack or not having something that we want. This applies to everything, even the phone call that you haven’t yet made because you keep forgetting to do it. You see, in this instance you are stating the preference of being able to remember that you need to make that call. A place of lack, is not a positive joyful place to be, is it? Well then; it stands to reason that you would need to switch to thoughts that help you feel an emotion that is the opposite of a feeling of lack so that you can manifest the object of your desire. Make sense? The sooner we make that switch and the smoother that process is, the more fun we have along the way.
There is value in the thinking process for without it life wouldn’t be fun. Powerful creators always want to rock the boat and instigate change in their lives to keep things interesting, but interesting doesn’t have to mean difficult or hard.
Rick needs to shift his thinking and start thinking thoughts that feel better – for him the question to ask all day every day is “which thought feels better?” and then keep forking to the better feeling thought. When he does this he will create the bridge between feeling lack and feeling abundance. Sometimes, the improvement takes time, and at other times it is immediate – that just depends on how ready we are to do the vibrational work and break the hold of the old habits of thought. Little things, big things, all things take us up and down the emotional scale and how we think and feel in response is what determines whether we will have fun or not – in the end we will all reach our goal of finding ultimate joy, ultimate love and ultimate freedom. Some of us will attain these goals in this life time but surely all of us will attain these goals upon our transition.
Rick needs to be more conscious of his thoughts because that is where he spends most of his time – he keeps thinking “how?” how will this mess I’m in be sorted out, and this keeps him perpetually in the asking step. As I hear him speak I can see that he is in the question asking mode for most subjects in his life. Forking his thoughts will help him to bridge over to the answer side of the equation, so that he can start using his emotional guidance. He needs to create within him an understanding of which thoughts lead to which emotions – and he is not paying attention to this. It’s not that he doesn’t feel the emotion – he just doesn’t know which thoughts are taking him there. That’s why the process of forking is so important for him. At the end of the day, my friend Rick needs to believe that he is worthy of the abundance he desires, and that feeling of worthiness comes from being unconditional towards himself, and not letting himself be affected by the way others think and feel about him. He needs to practice unconditional love towards himself.
Ken on the other hand is a feeler – he feels emotion intensely, and this is probably the most beautiful thing about him. I love that he has a loving heart. But because he feels so intensely he is always concerned about how others will feel – it is very hard for him not to take responsibility for making others feel good. When he has decisions to make, he thinks about how he will feel, and how everyone else will feel as well. He takes on too much and in the process he feels bad. He keeps repeating in his head how others will be impacted by his decisions and builds visualizations that he plays over and over again – so he stays in that feeling space. For him the work is to be unconditional towards himself. You see when he makes himself responsible for the happiness of his wife and other people, he is practicing being conditional – he is saying “I am not a good person because someone else is getting hurt because of me – I have to try and save everyone, even if that means that I get hurt in the process”. Unconditional love starts with the self. Only when we are unconditional towards ourselves can we be unconditional towards others. My friend Ken is confusing unconditional love with sacrifice. Sacrificing your own happiness to make others happy is not unconditional love. In fact, his sacrifice is taking power away from the people around him by taking away the opportunity for them to start being responsible for their own emotions. Ken wants unconditional love from his wife. But she can’t give him what he can’t give himself, and his asking her to be unconditional is actually him being conditional towards her…yes, it’s complicated. So now he is doing to her, what he does not like her doing to him. Add on top of this another woman entering Ken’s life creating extreme contrast between what he has and what he wants. Ken needs to use his feeling guidance to think on target thoughts so that he can follow his guidance to the path of least resistance. There is a difference between thinking and feeling, and feeling, then thinking, then feeling and course correcting.
For both Rick and Ken my advice is when contrast happens in a big way, that is probably the worst time to do the vibrational work to improve their emotion on a subject, because if they try to do that it will only magnify the problem and make them feel even worse than they did before. That is the time for them to find ways to soothe themselves on the subject or divert their attention from it completely.
The best strategy as Abraham says is to go general. When we feel the loss of something or someone, we are in a negative place thinking thoughts of lack and feeling negative emotion – so we need to switch to thoughts that focus on feeling better, and this is only possible if you stop talking about the loss and start talking about how you want to feel. When we stay focused on the loss or the lack, then we keep perpetuating the loss and that is the opposite of what we want.
So the point is, feel the feeling you want to feel, because only when you can feel that feeling can you manifest good things. Either that, or forget about it entirely, and if you are able to truly forget then you are also able to truly give up resistance, and when you truly give up resistance then the thing you want manifests. And the less rules or expectations you have of yourself or of others the more unconditionally you live life. The more unconditionally you live life the happier you are, and the happier you are the more you have of the things you prefer.
As you go about your day, just remember this little phrase “thoughts create – emotions manifest” and it will help you to make that emotional switch you need to make in order to start feeling and knowing that you do have creative control over your life. I've been asking the Universe to help me practice unconditional love, and my asking has been answered as over the past few months I have had the opportunity of observing my dear friends as well as working on letting go of a personal relationship that is dear to me. I’m practicing right along side with you…let’s see how it goes!
Among the things I’ve learnt, the biggest one is that the thing that makes someone or something special is my decision to love them – that decision is what unconditional love is. It has more to do with me than it has to do with them. The other thing I’ve learnt is that unconditional love is much easier to keep going from the start, once conditions creep in, it can never regain it’s purity again. Just like what Abraham says about doubt: the best way to eliminate doubt is to not let it get started. The best way to eliminate conditional love is to never let it get started.
Love should never be a variable that keeps changing in a relationship, sometimes given freely and at other times held back, it should always be the "constant", always there, always flowing, the anchor that keeps the boat from floating away. And the most important relationship is your relationship with you. When your inner-being, that which you call God looks at you, they see only perfection. See yourself as perfect. Love yourself as God would love you.
Much love and appreciation,
PS: The webinar on Feb 14th is about Unconditional Love, I will share more about the practical aspects of what it means to love unconditionally building further on the examples of Rick and Ken and sharing some of my own experiences. Register here.