Break the cycle of resistant thinking

An excerpt from the Tuesday Q&A - free to attend for everyone - every 3rd Tuesday of the month.
Participant:
I would like you to speak a little bit about resistance and what that actually means. And maybe - well, what are some ways to let go of that resistance? To go around that resistance?
It’s been coming up a lot in my life in the last, say, six or eight months - where I really feel I understand. I think I understand that when I don’t feel good, then I am feeling resistance. And that’s why I don’t feel good. That’s why I don’t feel happy.
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I just feel like I’m up against a wall sometimes saying, “Well, how do I let go of that? How do I get around that?”

And it’s a big topic, I know that. But just… whatever comes to your mind.

Zehra:
All of Law of Attraction is about helping us deal with resistance.
So, everything that we talk about when we are dealing with negative beliefs, all of that is to reduce resistance.
What is resistance? Resistance is giving focus - paying attention, to the opposite of what you want.
If I want to open a door, but I keep pushing the door instead of pulling it, it’s not going to open. Because I’m the one keeping it shut. Did you get that?
Participant:
I do get that. I do understand that completely.
Zehra:
Okay. So that’s what resistance is: I want to open the door, but instead of pulling it open, I’m pushing it shut. I’m creating resistance. I’m doing the opposite of what I want to do in order to open the door.
So I’m focusing on what I don’t want instead of what I do want. And that’s where the resistance is.
Participant:
Exactly. That’s it. And I know it - I know it totally in my head that that’s the way it’s going to work, and yet I still do it.
Zehra:
You are not alone.
Participant:
No, I know.
Zehra:
You are not alone. Ninety percent of humanity is in the same boat.
Participant:
Yeah.
Zehra:
They don’t know that if you focus on what you do want, you can get what you do want.
Participant:
That’s right. But I know it. So if I know it, why don’t I do it?
Zehra:
Because you are on autopilot. You’ve got to go back to manual control.
Habits. It’s all habit. A way of thinking.
Participant:
I’ve got to figure out a way to catch that thought, stop it, and change the cycle. Break the cycle.
Zehra:
Break the cycle. Yes. Take out the circuit breaker so that the circuit can’t be completed.
Participant:
Okay. I have to remember to do that, Zehra. It’s like… it’s like, I don’t know.
Zehra:
Okay. So, I can only tell you what I’ve done. Like I said, there are millions of ways to get to the same place, and there are a lot of amazing teachers who teach all sorts of different things.
My way of teaching that is to tell you: get off the subject of your life.
Why do you have to keep thinking about your life? It hasn’t worked. Stop it.
Participant:
Yeah, you’ve talked about that many times — about when you were first starting out, how you thought about anything but your life. How beautiful the sky was, how this, how that. That’s what you focused on. Not on trying to find good things in your life. I remember you talked about that a lot.
Zehra:
Exactly. It works. It works.
It works because when you focus on a subject that is stuck, you give it more energy, and you make it more stuck.
Participant:
I think I need to… I think I need to make a decision that every single day I spend some time focused on things other than me and other than the things that are in my life.
Zehra:
Exactly. Why do you think I pay for Netflix?
Participant:
(Laughs)
Participant:
No, I mean things that really, really make me feel good and happy. I mean, I do spend up to like five minutes every morning after I do my prepave and stuff. Which, I don’t know when I started, but I’ve been prepaving since I attended one of your classes, and I will say, it does really change your life.
But anyway, I spend time doing appreciation. But it’s not, I don’t think, the same thing as what I’m talking about.
It’s like playtime. I’ll just do, you know, 15 minutes of looking at kitties and sunsets and flowers and things that just make me feel good. I think that’s what I’m going to try and do.
Zehra:
And in that 15 minutes, there will be no resistance.
Participant:
I mean, that’s the same thing as meditation - in that 15 minutes there is no resistance.
Zehra:
Yes, that’s right. But more powerful than that is to catch yourself.
All of that works. All of that is helpful. But what really works is: “Oh, I’m thinking about my life… what else can I think about? Kitty - tree.”
Participant:
Okay. Okay. I just have to learn to catch myself.
Zehra:
Well, we always try and catch the thief in the process. Yeah. Catch the thief red-handed.  You’ve got to catch your thoughts when they are red-handed.
Participant:
Yeah.
Zehra:
Or we say, “nip it in the bud.” Don’t get on the wrong train. Because once you get on the train, that train goes really fast and it’s hard to get off.
Participant:
I’ll put that in my prepave in the morning. That I choose to do that during the day -  to catch myself when I start thinking those thoughts and move to something else that makes me feel happy. I’ll put it there, because when I put things in my prepave, they tend to happen. And it really focuses me and tells me, “This is what I want to do during the day.”
Zehra:
Exactly. That’s what I’m going to do. That’s why we prepave.
The more you stay off the subject of your life, the more control you give to the Universe to help you.
Participant:
Good point. Okay. Yeah.
Zehra:
You don’t need to think about your life in order for it to work out.
Participant:
I know that. I believe that with my whole heart and soul.
Zehra:
So, you’ve just got to remind yourself not to think about your life.
Participant:
Okay.
Zehra:
All the time. Not just for 15 minutes. It's your balance of thought that makes a difference - 15 mins or even an hour of appreciation does nothing if you spend the rest of your waking hours out of alignment.
Participant:
No, I get that. I think I just have to start in smaller increments, and then I’ll get to the point where I can do it all the time. I hope.
Zehra:
So what would really help you is to prepave: “Today, I want to be mindful of my thoughts.”
Participant:
Yeah, that’s what I’m going to put in my prepave in the morning, right?
Zehra:
And then from time to time, have a reminder on your phone - or however else you keep your appointments - to remind you.
Participant:
Oh, that’s a good thing.
I’ll have my Alexa tell me every two hours.
Zehra:
Your mind travels like a bullet train. Don’t get on the train. Once you’re on the train, it’s harder to jump off.
But if you didn’t get on it - if you put a foot on the step into the train and then said, “Oh, where am I going? Not going there” - and you take your foot right back and let the train go, it’s easier.
It’s easier. Once you get on the train, it’s harder to get off.
Participant:
Okay.
Zehra:
The thing is, you don’t even know you’re on the train. Because when you’re on the train, it feels like you’re not moving. You’re still - but you’re moving very fast.
Participant:
Oh yeah. Thank you. Lots of good ideas. Thank you very much.
Summary:
Journaling for 15-20 mins or making a list of things to appreciate is helpful, but if you spend the rest of the day out of alignment nothing changes. The thing that works is becoming mindful so that you can catch your self in the moment and make a conscious decision about where to focus your thoughts.