Introduction
This eBook is an accompaniment to Cinderella Retold, Based on the magic of gratitude and love.
The aim here is to help parents understand the changes made to the story line to compliment the values we want our children to learn. Each lesson is expanded upon to highlight its significance and practical application.
Before we delve into what Cinderella Retold teaches, let’s take a look at the problems with the way the classical fairy tale and it’s Disney adaptation are told.
The Disney Version of Cinderella: What's Wrong?
While the Disney version of Cinderella is a beloved classic, it misses several key lessons that are crucial for fostering a positive and empowered mindset in children. Here are some aspects of the Disney version that can be problematic.
1) Waiting to be saved vs being empowered to save oneself
Issue: The Disney version emphasizes the idea that Cinderella needs to be rescued by the prince to achieve happiness and a better life.
Explanation: This narrative undermines the fact that happiness and fulfillment come from within. True happiness and magic happen when we stop being afraid and find joy within ourselves, not from external sources. The Disney version of the story makes Cinderella look like a helpless girl. That is not what we want our girls to grow up believing.
2) Emphasis on Outer Beauty
Issue: The Disney version primarily highlights Cinderella's physical beauty as a key factor in her success and acceptance. She has to “look” beautiful in order for the prince to fall in love with her.
Explanation: Linking how people perceive you with how you are dressed is an outdated way of thinking. We don’t want our girls to grow up thinking that they will not be loved unless they are dressed in expensive clothes. This sort of thinking creates self-image and self-worth problems.
3) Perpetuation of Step-Family Stereotypes:
Issue: The stepmother and stepsisters are portrayed as inherently evil and ugly.
Explanation: In a society where blended families are common to portray stepmother and stepsisters as wicked and unfair is detrimental to children. What if they encounter friends who have stepparents or siblings? What if they themselves end up in a blended family? What if they become a stepparent themselves? This is sort of programming leads to the creation of subconscious belief systems that control us later in life, even though we have forgotten how the belief was acquired.
Do we really want our children to be afraid of stepparents and stepsiblings?
4) Overemphasis on Material Wealth and Status
Issue: The Disney version places significant importance on material wealth, status, and outward appearances as the ultimate goals.
Explanation: Cinderella and her stepsisters are equal in wanting to win the prince - just because he is the prince. Gone are the days when a woman’s financial plan for success was to marry a rich man. Surely, that is not what we want to teach our girls today. We want them to look beyond status and riches in the selection of the man or woman they want to be with.
5) Dependence on External Validation
Issue: Cinderella's happiness and validation come from being admired by the prince and others at the ball.
Explanation: Let’s teach our children that we don’t need external validation to be happy. Happiness is a choice and can be cultivated from within. When we focus on being happy and grateful, we naturally attract more positive experiences and validation.
6) Comparison and Jealousy and Bullying
Issue: The Disney version subtly encourages comparison and jealousy between Cinderella and her stepsisters.
Explanation: Disney version introduces children to the concept of jealousy. Children don’t think in terms of jealousy until we introduce the concept to them. Along with jealousy comes fear. Fear detracts from confidence. In addition, the Disney version shows the stepsisters ripping Cinderella’s clothes when she gets ready to go to the ball. As a result, children are introduced to the concept of bullying, and victimhood. We want to teach our children to stand up for themselves. Not only are the humans in the story wicked, but there is a wicked cat in the mix as well. Not only is Disney teaching children to be afraid of people, they are also teaching them to be afraid of household pets.
7) Fear and Victimhood
Issue: Cinderella is portrayed as a victim of her circumstances, with little emphasis on her power to change her situation.
Explanation: Not once does Disney show Cinderella standing up for herself. Not once do we see her feeling worthy. Disney is teaching little girls to be meek and subservient and wait for a Prince Charming to come and rescue them.
Cinderella Retold
Read Cinderella Retold with your child and use it to reinforce positive thinking and values. Here are some concepts intentionally placed in the book.
Lesson 1: No One Who Dies is Gone, They Are Still With You and Love You
The first lesson teaches children that even after someone passes away, their love and presence remain. It’s okay to feel sad, it’s not okay to stay sad forever. Death is a part of living and we should not teach our children to be afraid of it. Share your own experience and how you got over the passing of a loved one or family pet.
The Disney version gives no explanation for Cinderella’s parents death. It creates a situation where it is her parent’s death that leads to her misfortune. This is not what we want children to start believing.
Encourage your child to feel the presence of their loved ones who have passed away. Remind them that love transcends physical presence.
Lesson 2: Comparison Makes Us Unhappy, and Being Unhappy for a Long Period Can Make Us Sick
Cinderella Retold makes an attempt to help children understand that comparison leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. All sickness is a result of worry, and worry is an absence of happiness.
We want our children to understand that just because you lose one thing does not mean that you will not find something or someone as good or even better. This thinking can show up in children’s personal relationships as they grow up and start dating to think that if they experience a breakup that it is the end of the world and they can never be happy again.
Lesson 3: Everyone is Beautiful
We want our children to see beauty in themselves as well as others. In today’s world we want to teach children that everyone is the same, and that differences in features, colors, and other physical characteristics make us beautiful. The Universe sees the beauty in everything and everyone is God’s creation. The Law of Attraction teaches that what we focus on expands; seeing beauty in others enhances our own joy and satisfaction.
Teach your child to recognize and appreciate the beauty in everyone they meet. Discuss the importance of kindness and looking beyond superficial appearances to see the goodness within.
Help your child appreciate their unique qualities and achievements. Help them to understand that everyone wants good things to come to them and everyone is doing their best. Cinderella’s stepmother and stepsisters are just like her - they also want good things to happen in their lives.
Lesson 4: When We Hate People, We Can’t See Their Beauty, and They Can’t Be Nice to Us
Hatred blinds us to the positive qualities of others and attracts negative behavior. According to the Law of Attraction, focusing on negativity attracts more negativity into our lives. The Disney version of Cinderella paints her stepmother and stepsisters as villains. This creates fear. Instead we want children to learn that whatever you send out is what comes back to you. What you expect you get.
Cinderella did not want a stepmother. She did not know that the Universe will bring you what you think about. When she heard people talking about the fact that her father should re-marry, in her mind she started saying “no! I don’t want that.” But when you should “no” at something you bring it into your life because the real magnet is attention. Whatever we give attention to flows into our life. When we understand this basic rule we are able to give our attention to that which we “intend.” And then, by the power of the magnet of attention our intention will be drawn into our life.
We want children to learn that at the end of the day what everyone wants is to be happy- that is the ultimate “intention” and if we give it all our “attention” then only good things will come to us.
Lesson 5: Stepmoms and Sisters Are Just Like You; They Also Have Hopes and Dreams and Are Trying to Do Their Best
Empathy is about understanding that everyone is human and everyone has feelings and desires. We want to teach our children not to judge others, and by the same token not to judge themselves.
Judging others behavior as inappropriate creates differences. We want to teach our children that how other people behave is not our business. If someone’s behavior is affecting us, then we need to look at how we created it. The answer is always that we must not have been appreciative enough. We must not have been happy.
Lesson 6: How Much Time Someone Spends with You Has Nothing to Do with How Much They Love You
In a world where it is common for both parents to be working, we want our children to understand that the amount of time a parent spends with them is not a measure of how loved they are.
At times, families can be separated because of work or other reasons, we want to teach children that love remains constant despite these circumstances and it is the quality of time that we spend together that matters far more than anything else.
Lesson 7: Being Thankful Makes Us Feel Happy, and When We Feel Happy, Magic Happens in Our Lives
Appreciating the little things in life and not taking anything for granted helps us to feel happy. We want children to learn that we have to get happy first so that good things can happen, instead of waiting for something good to happen “so that” we can feel good.
One of the reasons for what we call the “rat race” is that people think that
happiness and success are a result of manifesting trips, big homes and lots of money, when in really, these things are a result of happiness, not the cause of it. This subtle little difference can result in a life of inner peace for our children.
Children learn from observation and so as parents and guardians it is our job to openly appreciate and offer gratitude so that children can learn that it is a normal part of life. We want them to appreciate, because it is as natural as brushing teeth, not because it is a special exercise that helps us to manifest things we want.
Lesson 8: All Things Are Possible. You Can Have Whatever You Want If You Stop Complaining
The Disney Cinderella is a complainer. She complains about her stepfamily. She complains about not having nice clothes to wear, she complains about not being able to go to the ball. Learning to complain is the opposite of learning to appreciate.
We want children to understand that all prayers are answered in a state of making peace with what we have and finding a way to appreciate. When we stop complaining, magic happens. The Fairy God Mother did not appear to help Cinderella “because” she was crying, but because she stopped crying. She became okay with where she was and stopped complaining.
This little shift can help our children understand that they have control over their emotional state, and that good things happen when we stop pushing back.
Lesson 9: We Don’t Need a Reason to Be Happy
Happiness is a choice and does not require external validation. There is joy in simple things like singing, skipping and playing with pets. We have a pandemic of children wanting to be entertained instead of finding ways of entertaining themselves. Parents are going haggard trying to please and keep kids occupied. We have to stop training our children to rely on us and things outside of themselves for their mental stimulation.
We want children to learn that no matter what is going on around them, they can decide to be happy.
Lesson 10: Being Afraid is the Opposite of Being Happy. We Have to Find a Way to Stop Being Afraid
It is okay to feel fear. We don’t want our children to be afraid of being afraid. What we do want to teach them is that there is guidance in fear. That when you feel fear, the Universe is communicating with you to let you know that you need to change your thoughts or you need to take some action that addresses the fear. We want them to start connecting with their intuition by listening to the little voice within, which is always guiding them towards their wellbeing.
Help your child identify their fears and provide tools to overcome them, such as positive affirmations and visualization techniques. Encourage them to focus on what makes them feel safe and joyful. Share how you got over your own fears, so that they can understand that it is okay to be afraid and it is possible to get over any and all fears.
Lesson 11: You Get What You Think About Whether You Like It or Not
Our thoughts are powerful and shape our reality. We don’t attract what we want - we attract what we think about. If we spend time thinking about what we don’t want then we bring that into our lives. When we think about what we want, and why we want it, we attract it.
Give your child examples of aligning attention with intention. (First watch my TEDx talk on this subject!).
An example would be:
“I don’t want to go to bed” vs “I want to stay up a little longer.”
“I don’t want to get sick” vs “I want to be healthy.”
Point out to your child that thinking about what we don’t want feels bad and that is how we know that we need to stop, and change the way we are thinking and the words we are using.
Lesson 12: Happiness Makes the Sun Shine
Happiness radiates positive energy, affecting not only our own lives but also the lives of those around us.
Use this as an affirmation or mantra, so that it is an easy way for your child to remember all the important lessons and positive beliefs you want to pass on to them.
Conclusion
By understanding and applying these lessons, parents can support their children in adopting a positive and grateful mindset. The principles of the Law of Attraction can help children navigate challenges with optimism and attract wonderful experiences into their lives. Together, you can create a joyful and fulfilling journey through the power of gratitude and love.
Please post an Amazon Review
Reviews help others decide whether they should buy this book.
This eBook is an accompaniment to Cinderella Retold, Based on the magic of gratitude and love.
The aim here is to help parents understand the changes made to the story line to compliment the values we want our children to learn. Each lesson is expanded upon to highlight its significance and practical application.
Before we delve into what Cinderella Retold teaches, let’s take a look at the problems with the way the classical fairy tale and it’s Disney adaptation are told.
The Disney Version of Cinderella: What's Wrong?
While the Disney version of Cinderella is a beloved classic, it misses several key lessons that are crucial for fostering a positive and empowered mindset in children. Here are some aspects of the Disney version that can be problematic.
1) Waiting to be saved vs being empowered to save oneself
Issue: The Disney version emphasizes the idea that Cinderella needs to be rescued by the prince to achieve happiness and a better life.
Explanation: This narrative undermines the fact that happiness and fulfillment come from within. True happiness and magic happen when we stop being afraid and find joy within ourselves, not from external sources. The Disney version of the story makes Cinderella look like a helpless girl. That is not what we want our girls to grow up believing.
2) Emphasis on Outer Beauty
Issue: The Disney version primarily highlights Cinderella's physical beauty as a key factor in her success and acceptance. She has to “look” beautiful in order for the prince to fall in love with her.
Explanation: Linking how people perceive you with how you are dressed is an outdated way of thinking. We don’t want our girls to grow up thinking that they will not be loved unless they are dressed in expensive clothes. This sort of thinking creates self-image and self-worth problems.
3) Perpetuation of Step-Family Stereotypes:
Issue: The stepmother and stepsisters are portrayed as inherently evil and ugly.
Explanation: In a society where blended families are common to portray stepmother and stepsisters as wicked and unfair is detrimental to children. What if they encounter friends who have stepparents or siblings? What if they themselves end up in a blended family? What if they become a stepparent themselves? This is sort of programming leads to the creation of subconscious belief systems that control us later in life, even though we have forgotten how the belief was acquired.
Do we really want our children to be afraid of stepparents and stepsiblings?
4) Overemphasis on Material Wealth and Status
Issue: The Disney version places significant importance on material wealth, status, and outward appearances as the ultimate goals.
Explanation: Cinderella and her stepsisters are equal in wanting to win the prince - just because he is the prince. Gone are the days when a woman’s financial plan for success was to marry a rich man. Surely, that is not what we want to teach our girls today. We want them to look beyond status and riches in the selection of the man or woman they want to be with.
5) Dependence on External Validation
Issue: Cinderella's happiness and validation come from being admired by the prince and others at the ball.
Explanation: Let’s teach our children that we don’t need external validation to be happy. Happiness is a choice and can be cultivated from within. When we focus on being happy and grateful, we naturally attract more positive experiences and validation.
6) Comparison and Jealousy and Bullying
Issue: The Disney version subtly encourages comparison and jealousy between Cinderella and her stepsisters.
Explanation: Disney version introduces children to the concept of jealousy. Children don’t think in terms of jealousy until we introduce the concept to them. Along with jealousy comes fear. Fear detracts from confidence. In addition, the Disney version shows the stepsisters ripping Cinderella’s clothes when she gets ready to go to the ball. As a result, children are introduced to the concept of bullying, and victimhood. We want to teach our children to stand up for themselves. Not only are the humans in the story wicked, but there is a wicked cat in the mix as well. Not only is Disney teaching children to be afraid of people, they are also teaching them to be afraid of household pets.
7) Fear and Victimhood
Issue: Cinderella is portrayed as a victim of her circumstances, with little emphasis on her power to change her situation.
Explanation: Not once does Disney show Cinderella standing up for herself. Not once do we see her feeling worthy. Disney is teaching little girls to be meek and subservient and wait for a Prince Charming to come and rescue them.
Cinderella Retold
Read Cinderella Retold with your child and use it to reinforce positive thinking and values. Here are some concepts intentionally placed in the book.
Lesson 1: No One Who Dies is Gone, They Are Still With You and Love You
The first lesson teaches children that even after someone passes away, their love and presence remain. It’s okay to feel sad, it’s not okay to stay sad forever. Death is a part of living and we should not teach our children to be afraid of it. Share your own experience and how you got over the passing of a loved one or family pet.
The Disney version gives no explanation for Cinderella’s parents death. It creates a situation where it is her parent’s death that leads to her misfortune. This is not what we want children to start believing.
Encourage your child to feel the presence of their loved ones who have passed away. Remind them that love transcends physical presence.
Lesson 2: Comparison Makes Us Unhappy, and Being Unhappy for a Long Period Can Make Us Sick
Cinderella Retold makes an attempt to help children understand that comparison leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. All sickness is a result of worry, and worry is an absence of happiness.
We want our children to understand that just because you lose one thing does not mean that you will not find something or someone as good or even better. This thinking can show up in children’s personal relationships as they grow up and start dating to think that if they experience a breakup that it is the end of the world and they can never be happy again.
Lesson 3: Everyone is Beautiful
We want our children to see beauty in themselves as well as others. In today’s world we want to teach children that everyone is the same, and that differences in features, colors, and other physical characteristics make us beautiful. The Universe sees the beauty in everything and everyone is God’s creation. The Law of Attraction teaches that what we focus on expands; seeing beauty in others enhances our own joy and satisfaction.
Teach your child to recognize and appreciate the beauty in everyone they meet. Discuss the importance of kindness and looking beyond superficial appearances to see the goodness within.
Help your child appreciate their unique qualities and achievements. Help them to understand that everyone wants good things to come to them and everyone is doing their best. Cinderella’s stepmother and stepsisters are just like her - they also want good things to happen in their lives.
Lesson 4: When We Hate People, We Can’t See Their Beauty, and They Can’t Be Nice to Us
Hatred blinds us to the positive qualities of others and attracts negative behavior. According to the Law of Attraction, focusing on negativity attracts more negativity into our lives. The Disney version of Cinderella paints her stepmother and stepsisters as villains. This creates fear. Instead we want children to learn that whatever you send out is what comes back to you. What you expect you get.
Cinderella did not want a stepmother. She did not know that the Universe will bring you what you think about. When she heard people talking about the fact that her father should re-marry, in her mind she started saying “no! I don’t want that.” But when you should “no” at something you bring it into your life because the real magnet is attention. Whatever we give attention to flows into our life. When we understand this basic rule we are able to give our attention to that which we “intend.” And then, by the power of the magnet of attention our intention will be drawn into our life.
We want children to learn that at the end of the day what everyone wants is to be happy- that is the ultimate “intention” and if we give it all our “attention” then only good things will come to us.
Lesson 5: Stepmoms and Sisters Are Just Like You; They Also Have Hopes and Dreams and Are Trying to Do Their Best
Empathy is about understanding that everyone is human and everyone has feelings and desires. We want to teach our children not to judge others, and by the same token not to judge themselves.
Judging others behavior as inappropriate creates differences. We want to teach our children that how other people behave is not our business. If someone’s behavior is affecting us, then we need to look at how we created it. The answer is always that we must not have been appreciative enough. We must not have been happy.
Lesson 6: How Much Time Someone Spends with You Has Nothing to Do with How Much They Love You
In a world where it is common for both parents to be working, we want our children to understand that the amount of time a parent spends with them is not a measure of how loved they are.
At times, families can be separated because of work or other reasons, we want to teach children that love remains constant despite these circumstances and it is the quality of time that we spend together that matters far more than anything else.
Lesson 7: Being Thankful Makes Us Feel Happy, and When We Feel Happy, Magic Happens in Our Lives
Appreciating the little things in life and not taking anything for granted helps us to feel happy. We want children to learn that we have to get happy first so that good things can happen, instead of waiting for something good to happen “so that” we can feel good.
One of the reasons for what we call the “rat race” is that people think that
happiness and success are a result of manifesting trips, big homes and lots of money, when in really, these things are a result of happiness, not the cause of it. This subtle little difference can result in a life of inner peace for our children.
Children learn from observation and so as parents and guardians it is our job to openly appreciate and offer gratitude so that children can learn that it is a normal part of life. We want them to appreciate, because it is as natural as brushing teeth, not because it is a special exercise that helps us to manifest things we want.
Lesson 8: All Things Are Possible. You Can Have Whatever You Want If You Stop Complaining
The Disney Cinderella is a complainer. She complains about her stepfamily. She complains about not having nice clothes to wear, she complains about not being able to go to the ball. Learning to complain is the opposite of learning to appreciate.
We want children to understand that all prayers are answered in a state of making peace with what we have and finding a way to appreciate. When we stop complaining, magic happens. The Fairy God Mother did not appear to help Cinderella “because” she was crying, but because she stopped crying. She became okay with where she was and stopped complaining.
This little shift can help our children understand that they have control over their emotional state, and that good things happen when we stop pushing back.
Lesson 9: We Don’t Need a Reason to Be Happy
Happiness is a choice and does not require external validation. There is joy in simple things like singing, skipping and playing with pets. We have a pandemic of children wanting to be entertained instead of finding ways of entertaining themselves. Parents are going haggard trying to please and keep kids occupied. We have to stop training our children to rely on us and things outside of themselves for their mental stimulation.
We want children to learn that no matter what is going on around them, they can decide to be happy.
Lesson 10: Being Afraid is the Opposite of Being Happy. We Have to Find a Way to Stop Being Afraid
It is okay to feel fear. We don’t want our children to be afraid of being afraid. What we do want to teach them is that there is guidance in fear. That when you feel fear, the Universe is communicating with you to let you know that you need to change your thoughts or you need to take some action that addresses the fear. We want them to start connecting with their intuition by listening to the little voice within, which is always guiding them towards their wellbeing.
Help your child identify their fears and provide tools to overcome them, such as positive affirmations and visualization techniques. Encourage them to focus on what makes them feel safe and joyful. Share how you got over your own fears, so that they can understand that it is okay to be afraid and it is possible to get over any and all fears.
Lesson 11: You Get What You Think About Whether You Like It or Not
Our thoughts are powerful and shape our reality. We don’t attract what we want - we attract what we think about. If we spend time thinking about what we don’t want then we bring that into our lives. When we think about what we want, and why we want it, we attract it.
Give your child examples of aligning attention with intention. (First watch my TEDx talk on this subject!).
An example would be:
“I don’t want to go to bed” vs “I want to stay up a little longer.”
“I don’t want to get sick” vs “I want to be healthy.”
Point out to your child that thinking about what we don’t want feels bad and that is how we know that we need to stop, and change the way we are thinking and the words we are using.
Lesson 12: Happiness Makes the Sun Shine
Happiness radiates positive energy, affecting not only our own lives but also the lives of those around us.
Use this as an affirmation or mantra, so that it is an easy way for your child to remember all the important lessons and positive beliefs you want to pass on to them.
Conclusion
By understanding and applying these lessons, parents can support their children in adopting a positive and grateful mindset. The principles of the Law of Attraction can help children navigate challenges with optimism and attract wonderful experiences into their lives. Together, you can create a joyful and fulfilling journey through the power of gratitude and love.
Please post an Amazon Review
Reviews help others decide whether they should buy this book.