Guest Post by Debbie Happy Cohen
I always had a pretty good intuition. Always. And I always knew how to love. People who knew me would tell me that I had a good heart, or that I was an old soul.
In my twenties, I used my intuition and love to create a colorful career that has brought joy and uplift-ment to many others. First as a life and business coach, then as a personal development author and speaker, and recently as an "in the vortex artist."
A few months ago, I hit bottom.
Something happened that I had absolutely no control over. It affected every area of my life, and there were no obvious or clear solutions. I felt miserable enough to even contemplate ending my life. It was really bad. Then one day, in the midst of the darkness, laying in bed, something happened.
I said to myself, "I don't know if this problem is ever going to go away. But if I'm going to continue to choose to live, then I've got to choose happiness. Otherwise, there's no point." I chose happiness". Literally.
There was no dramatic overture, no visible angels descending upon me and singing a song of freedom. But the decision to choose happiness was still with me when I woke up the next morning. And I kept choosing it. Deliberately and repeatedly. When a bad feeling like fear came up, I'd say "I choose happiness." And I would mean it.
I choose happiness!
Things started to shift. The "big problem" didn't go away at first, but I found myself feeling lighter -- not happy, but definitely better. More positive feelings and experiences started coming my way; or maybe I was simply noticing them more... most likely a combination of both.
Within a few weeks, I was feeling pretty good. The problem had eased up some, and I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, at one point I thought it was done and gone, and I was doing the happy dance. Prematurely.
While I was still in that good feeling space, evidence of the problem came up again, and I fell right back into the dark tunnel. I felt so afraid. I couldn't choose happiness. All I could see was darkness.
I tried climbing out of it on my own, but it just got darker. So, I called a friend. She wasn't home. I reached out to another friend, someone I knew was centered and in a good place. Someone who could hold a healthy space for me, someone who could listen without pitying me or feeling sorry for me or trying to fix me or the problem.
While I spoke, he was quiet. Deeply quiet. He held the space for me that I was seeking. He was plugged in and completely non-phased by my story. I could feel my energy smoothing out. Then I heard my own intuitive voice speak very clearly:
"You can't fix this. You can't solve this. This isn't for you to solve. You can't control this. Let go."
The voice spoke so clearly that I trusted it, and I surrendered the problem. The relief I felt was palpable. I quickly chose happiness again. It took about two days to climb back up to feeling happy. I'm sharing this detail, because it was humbling to flow with the timing of improving my feeling state. I couldn't force it, nor did I want to.
When I looked back at the experience to learn from it, I realized that feeling the fear was right and good. But holding onto it was like holding a hot coal. It took a couple of days for the emotional skin to heal back up. I learned the importance of releasing fear as quickly as possible. Like getting the hell off of a wild and crazy horse.
As I climbed back into happiness, I found myself attracted to Abraham audios on youtube. I got "The Vortex" app and began meditating with it daily. I used the Emotional Guidance Scale, asking repeatedly: What feeling am I feeling right now? If it was a good feeling, I'd milk it. If it was a bad feeling (anything lower than hope), I'd ask where would I prefer to be. Then I'd climb up a little at a time, like the itsy bitsy spider. Amazing things started to happen. Synchronicities appeared like fireworks, as did happy mojo feelings that are so familiar to me. My intuition came alive. And the "big problem" went away.
I began to feel a cloak of light around me. It sparkled and shimmered and delighted me. This was an entirely new experience. A gift that came out of the darkness, which made the price of the ride worth every single penny.
The darkness had given me an opportunity to FOCUS my energy in a more powerful, deliberate way than I had ever done before. In a way that completely depended on my CHOICE to feel good. Regardless of outside circumstances, regardless of whether they would change or not.
The power to choose what I want to feel was brought back into my hands... This time, however, my hands were no longer those of a naive princess, but those of a queen. A queen knows her power and she takes full and complete responsibility for her choices, and for her happiness.
As my cloak of LOVE continued to sparkle, a fairy tale I heard long ago came to my mind, and I finally understood what it meant.
The moon - my moon - had been stolen and hidden in a pitch black swamp, covered in a dark blanket so no one could find it.
But it couldn't be kept down. No matter how strong the fear was that wanted to hold it down, it couldn't. After some time, the light of the moon started peeking out, and once it did, it felt so happy that it began ascending. The villagers, who'd been lost without it, cheered as the moon lifted above the trees and back into the sky where it belonged. And they promised to never lose track of it again.
ps. One of the most beautiful events that has happened to me recently was connecting with Zehra. While listening to the Abraham lecture about music and vibration, I got major happy goosebumps when they played a short piece of new music. I immediately contacted "Z" to find out who the musicians were and where I could get more of it. She immediately posted a 3-minute audio clip of it, and I found out that Esther Hicks will be publishing it soon.
During our email exchange, Z checked out my website and said she loved my "in the vortex" paintings (she named it that :-)) and she asked for permission to use it on her future videos. I said yes, and now it's a JOY to see that my paintings are touching the lives of thousands more people! Thank you, Z!!!