How to deal with the loss of a family member or friend

It's interesting how our perspective on life changes when someone close to us makes their transition. 

The feeling of loss, the confusion about how to continue living, the constant reminders at home - we have all experienced these feelings or observed someone close to us go through them.

Let's talk about the Law of Attraction perspective on dealing with the emotions that result from the transition of a loved one.

Earlier this year I shared about someone at work who made their transition at a very young age. The first thing I want you to know is, it’s okay to grieve.

You have to grieve because grieving and venting that emotion is part of life. It’s part of the way Law of Attraction works. It’s that contrast that makes you value the time that you spent together with the person who’s made their transition. And it’s also that contrast that makes you value other people in your life. It’s that contrast that makes you value the time that you have and the things that you want to do with the people that you love.

Contrast is a vital part of life, and it’s okay to feel the grief. In fact, if you brush that grief under the carpet and you refuse to feel it, then you’re leaving your vibration in that very low place. And that’s not helpful to anyone, least of all yourself. So grieving, and taking the time for that momentum of the grief to subside, is really important. That’s why people (even those who don’t understand Law of Attraction) say “it will get better with time”. Because with time, that momentum subsides, and you naturally rise, because the cork always rises to the surface of the water.

It doesn’t matter who it is that you are missing in that manner. Because whether they’re your child, your parent, a sibling, a friend…life goes on after a certain period of time. There are other demands that take your attention away from the grief. And like anything else, when you take your attention away from it, it improves. With time, you will go up the emotional scale, and you will feel better.

The second thing I want to share with you pertains to the concept of “loss”. When something is lost, that’s not a good feeling. It’s something that we’ve learned from society. These are values that we’ve picked up from society. I’m not saying that they are wrong, but I am saying that we need to change the wording. Changing the wording helps in two ways. First, it makes you feel better. Secondly, it helps you reconnect with your loved one where they are now. If you say something is lost, you can never find it again.

I remember Esther Hicks’ example. Esther had this beautiful pen that Jerry had given her as a gift, and she lost it. Or she thought she lost it! She looked everywhere for it and she couldn’t find it. For over two years, the pen was lost. And then one day, she gave up looking for it and accepted the fact that it was lost. So she was not focused on the loss anymore. She had moved on. That’s when she looked into a handbag, and the pen was in that handbag! It had always been there, and she had looked for it in that handbag. However, she was not able to find it, because the vibration of loss is so different from the vibration of having. The two vibrations can’t meet.

A better word than “loss” or “death” that I’ve learned to use from Abraham is “transition”. I don’t want to use the word “death” because it has so many negative connotations attached to it. “Loss” has so many negative connotations attached to it. So I use the word “transition” with everybody, whether they understand Law of Attraction or not.

Understand this one thing. You know the process of manifestation happens when something that was in vibrational form changes its form and becomes manifest so that now we can touch it, feel it and see it. It’s a change of form, just like water becomes steam and then becomes water again. Water changes form. Similarly, souls (or non-physical entities) become manifest in physical bodies. Then they go back to being non-physical, and their physical remains also degenerate.

I remember once, Abraham was saying that the earth and everything on it is being recycled again and again. Because matter (the thing that our bodies and everything in this world are made of) can only change form. Matter never goes away. Matter is a form of energy. Energy never goes away. It can only change form. So we change form when we transition from being in these physical bodies back to non-physical. It’s like we were water and then we became steam. So your loved one hasn’t gone anywhere. Your loved one is still around. It’s just that you can’t touch them, feel them or see them. But they are there, and they are aware of you even if you aren’t aware of them.

How do you become aware of them? It starts with letting go of the feeling of “loss” and understanding that we never lose anything. Everything is always there for our having. Relationships never go away.

So, grieve. Take the time to allow yourself to feel that contrast. Value that contrast and receive the gifts that come from it. Because when you feel that contrast, you’re giving birth to more desires, new desires. And when this negative momentum subsides, those desires that you’ve put into the vortex will start calling you.

If you’re grieving at this time, I send you a lot of love. I know that you will feel better. I’m here for you if you want to talk. If you have other questions about this, I’ll be happy to help you along. Questions are always welcome!

Much love and appreciation,
​Zehra