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Sometimes being a people pleaser is the path of least resistance

10/16/2023

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This is where people get a little bit mixed up with Law of Attraction because they think that law of attraction is telling me that I shouldn't listen to other people but that's not what law of attraction is telling you. Law of Attraction is telling you to listen to your own guidance. Sometimes your guidance is going to say, do what your mother, your brother, your husband, wife or child wants you to do, or your supervisor at work wants you to do because it feels better than not doing it.​There are times when we want to do what others want us to do, because it feels better than not doing it. Not doing it carries repercussions that feel worse. 
In my coaching practice I sometimes meet people who say that they need boundaries and they interpret this as meaning that they will no longer do what others tell them to do and that means that they have to be rude. But then they feel bad about being rude.  That defeats the purpose. The purpose of setting boundaries is to feel good. 
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Many years ago I had this beautiful girl who was one of my coaching clients and she so badly wanted not to be a people pleaser. In her case the two sets of people that she was pleasing most often were either her parents or her in-laws. Every time there was something going on between her parents and herself or her in-laws and her she would immediately go down the emotional scale. She would say I just I don't even want to talk to them; just thinking about them, just having to talk to them makes me so angry, because they are trying to control me and I will not allow them to control me. One day she asked me they want me to do this thing and I don't want to talk to them is it okay if I don't talk to them? and I said to her if you really had decided that you didn't want to talk to them you wouldn't even be asking me about it. So what is it about this decision that is not sitting well with you? what is it about this decision that makes you uncomfortable? And she said well if I don't talk to my mother-in-law that makes me a very bad daughter-in-law and I don't want to be a bad daughter-in-law.
​So I said then you have a choice which one do you want more? which one is more important to you being a good daughter-in-law or not speaking to your mother-in-law because she makes you angry? You've got to pick one pick and then align with that decision. You've got to pick the one that feels better than the other one. So which one of these options feels like it is the easiest one from where you are just now pick that one. Now that a decision has been made we can use soothing self-talk to line up with it. When we sit in indecision we get stuck and split our energy, as we are pulled in different directions.
This is what Abraham means when they say pick the path of least resistance. 
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Photos from healthiermi, stan, JuditK, Colin_K, glow mama, Normann Copenhagen, wwarby, TMAB2003, bsperan, Sirsnapsalot, Parker Michael Knight, kooklanekookla, Tommy Nelson, Eric The Fish (2012), ephotography, Marianne Bevis, Stig Nygaard, David Paul Ohmer, Abaconda, infomatique, Toby Ciranjiiva Tatsuyama-Kurk
  • Home
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