If something isn’t manifesting, you need to rethink your goal – Dinner with Carol

​I met Carol many years ago at a dinner event. She sat next to me and we started talking. At that time I was into commissioned sales in the financial sector, and Carol was a real estate agent. Of course, I had to ask her about how the real estate market was doing and she wanted a tip on the hottest stocks. Lol! We got along really well.

​I was really new in the commissioned sales business at the time, although I had been working in the financial industry for many years prior. Business wasn’t doing all that well. I found commissioned sales really hard. My income was all over the place, and I wasn’t too fond of waking up every morning wondering where the next morsel was going to come from. My parents would say I’m stubborn, I like to think I’m determined. My thought process always says “if it can be done, then I will find a way to do it”, so as far as I am concerned if there are other commissioned sales people who are absolutely “killin it” then I should be able to do so as well. Carol seemed like a very successful realtor, so I had to ask her how she prospected for business. I am so glad I did. Because she shared a little tip that opened a whole new way of thinking for me. She said “if you’re not hitting your goal, you need to rethink it”. 

This was confusing – “what do you mean? Should I give up my sales role or set my sales goal lower?” Apparently it was none of that. “You’re focused on the wrong goal” she said. She must have seen the confused look on my face, because she continued: “you see, you are focused on making X amount of money, and that’s the wrong goal”.
“What do you mean I said? isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? All sales training says set a goal, then break it down, list out what needs to be done, and then go do it.” The only problem was I was doing it but nothing was happening.
“That’s the problem” she said with that look on her face that said “I know something you don’t” – it reminded me of being in the playground at school when I was six, and a friend was taunting me. Thankfully she took pity on me and continued explaining.

​“You see, your goal has to be to find out which of the elements of marketing and selling you enjoy the most and stop spinning your wheels trying to do things you hate doing – forget about the money, as long as you do the fun stuff the money will come. So tell me what do you hate and what do you absolutely love.”
Well that was an easy question to answer. “I hate cold calling, in fact I hate the phone – I like meeting people and talking to them, but I don’t like going door to door either”.
“So think about how you can meet people in enjoyable ways”.
“I like coming out to networking meetings” I said and then I thought some more.
“You know what I like best – I like getting on the stage and doing a talk”.
“That’s it then – that’s what you should do, network and do talks, because if you do what you enjoy doing then the money will come. You see, money is a by-product of doing what you enjoy doing, so the goal is to find the thing you enjoy doing and doing a lot of it – making money is the wrong goal”.
And that conversation changed things for ever for me. I set my goal at doing a seminar each week. In the next three years I did more than 100 talks and became the top sales person across Canada.
Looking back I can see how law of attraction played out.

​First of all, my desire to put myself back on my feet after a divorce that took everything was huge. The Universe arranged for me to sit next to Carol; an experienced sales person who was willing to help. I was ready to do whatever I had to do, and Carol’s advice made so much sense.

Next, I implemented her advice and stopped focusing on making money – I had attachment to that outcome you see. So when I stopped focusing on it the attachment went away, therefore the resistance went away, so money could flow.
Lastly, I started doing seminars and talks – I thrived on those. Unlike many others I love being on stage, it get me on a high that I coast on for many days. So in other words, doing what I loved to do kept me high on the emotional scale and the money started flowing. I truly get what it means to say “enjoy the journey”.

I didn’t know it at the time, but all those seminars and talks were preparing me for the work I do now as a motivational speaker, YouTuber and Author. I didn’t know, but the Universe knew and was guiding me all the time. That’s what it means to say “yes” to whatever comes – you never know where it will lead you. You just have to trust that in the end it will all come together.

It all makes so much sense…what is it they say about hindsight!

All of this is neatly summarized in the quote below. I know it’s from a book but I can’t remember which one – it’s many years ago that I came across it. If you know the name of the book and the author do let me know so that I can credit them properly.

Marry the process, divorce the outcome.