My Dear, you are letting yourself be pulled in two different directions - of course this will tear you apart. You have to line-up with one decision and make it good - meaning you need to pick a side and appreciate it so much that the positive momentum you generate as a result washes everything else out.
If you want to confess - all you have to do is to say good things about this decision - "I will feel so much better afterwards. Holding on to it has been making me feel bad, and I've reached a point where it isn't worth it to hold on to it, in order to let it go I have to confess - it's like ripping a band aid off - the process hurts but it feels better after. I am a good person at heart, and I want to do what I think is right - everyone makes mistakes, and I have learnt something important about myself. I know now that I'm the sort of person who values having everything out in the open - it feels better to me. And I know that there will be consequences but I also know that Source is always leading me to what is good for for me - I like knowing that. I trust knowing that. Things are always working out for me.
Things are always working out for me - things are always working out for me. I can create a wonderful future because I know it is all about appreciation. I know how to appreciate - that's all there is to it - I think I can do this, I know I can do this, I will do this and things will turn out alright for me. All is well." This is the sort of self-talk you need.
In reality, it is up to them how they deal with the contrast you have created for them - they can use it as an opportunity to grow more or they can use it as a reason to go down the emotional scale - it's not your job to do it for them. However, if you become one who stays lined up and sends them love, you will call them up the emotional scale and from there they will see things differently, for no one can be at the top of the emotional scale and feel hate or any other negative emotion. When it is said "you have to rise above this" what is really meant is that you can go up the emotional scale no matter what - and so can they. How we look at things is a choice - an individual choice.