“They don’t know who I am – I’m going to show them”

It is only very recent that I have truly started understanding the value of these words offered by Abraham “make a decision and line-up with it”.  I have come to understand that this advice is some of the most important teachings given to us by Abraham.  Let me explain.

I think it is safe to say that when we are little most of our decisions are made for us by our parents.  They tell us when to wake up and when to go to bed.  They tell us where to go and what to do.  They tell us how to behave with others – they tell us what is appropriate behavior and what is inacceptable.  There is no negotiation – it’s mostly their way.  What this translates into is that a decision is made by our parents, and now it is up to us to line up with it or not.  

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For example, my parents wanted us to wake up at 6 am on weekdays.  It didn’t matter what I wanted, I still had to wake up at 6 am.  Knowing this I could make myself miserable by thinking how awful it was to wake up so early.  I could start the night before, and go to bed miserable and then I would pick up that vibration exactly where I had left it and wake up utterly miserable.  Or I could say to myself “what has to be done, has to be done – why fight it? I know I won’t win – why not just go with the flow”.  And then I would wake up fresh and put a happy face on my day.  Think about it, isn’t that what Abraham teaches us? They say, don’t go to bed on a low disc or you will wake up on a low disc.  They say, make a decision and line up with it.  They say turn your boat and go down stream.

Then as we grow older we are given the freedom to make some decisions for ourselves.  As I was growing up my mother always told me what my options were, and then she told me what her recommendation was, and allowed me to pick.  If I picked an alternative she did not recommend I would have to defend my choice and win the ensuing argument in order to do things my way.  When this method of allowing freedom was first introduced by my mother, I thought it would give me freedom and I took on every opportunity to do things my way.  Then I realized that it was just a method for her to retain control without actually openly exerting her power.  With this realization things changed again.  Most of the time, I didn’t even try – it seemed like too much work!  As a result, my parents picked what subjects I should study all the way to university.  They even picked the university for me, and the program of study – signed me up for it and told me to go.  I learnt very quickly that the best way to be happy was just to give in and go with what ever they had figured out – then I would find my fun in the journey.  They picked and I made the best of it – same thing as “make a decision and line-up with it”.  Did I turn out the worse for it?  Not at all.  I had a fantastic time, and I got a fantastic education in the process, and to top it all, I graduated top of the class all the way to my MBA.  

It never occurred to me to be unhappy with the situation.

Having said that though, I wasn’t always like that.  I had a turning around point very early in life when I was nine.  I remember clearly that way back then I was in the business of pushing back.  

I pushed back about everything.  I was a rebel and wanted to do everything my way.  I wanted everyone and everything in my world to revolve around me, but I couldn’t get my parents to fall in with my plan. 

They always wanted things their way, and they had power – they had the power to make me feel bad about the way I wanted things to be.  I would push at them and they would push at me, with the result that I felt very alone.  I did not feel un-loved – I knew they loved me (just not as much as my brother), I just felt misunderstood.  Clearly, I was at a very low emotional place, and it reflected in everything.  I was sick all the time and missed lots of school.  I didn’t like school anyway – it was too strict (I went to a convent), and everyone expected too much.  No one wanted me to have fun.  We had to study at school and study at home.  There was lots of homework (or so I thought), besides my mother, who had always been a star student expected her daughter to follow suit – and I did not!  I didn’t have too many friends at school, and my mother never allowed us to play with the neighbors – she had trust issues with people.

The result of this long drawn battle was that I did so poorly at school that I flunked a grade.  Grade 6 to be exact.  My parents were distraught – especially my mother – she couldn’t stop crying.  It seemed as though she interpreted my failure as her failure, and blamed me for it.  How could I do this to her?

She did everything she could to have the decision reversed from talking to my class teacher to the principal of the school.  Nothing budged.

She was truly ashamed of this event.  She told me that it would remain a secret as far as all family and friends were concerned.  Talk about a feeling of unworthiness.    I wallowed in it for a few days – I can’t remember how many, needless to say the home environment wasn’t very loving.  Then one day a voice from within said “they don’t know who I am – I’m going to show them”.  I still remember it as if it was yesterday.  I was my voice, but someone else was speaking it.  Everything in my life changed that day.

I accepted that yet another decision had been made for me, but this time I wasn’t pushing back – I was lining up.  I took it on as a challenge.  I didn’t flunk the grade because school was hard – I flunked the grade because school wasn’t fun.  Now I didn’t care about the fun as I did before – it wasn’t about games and play anymore, it was about excelling – it was about showing them all who I really was, and what I could do if I decided to do it.

My class teacher turned into my mentor – she was kinder, more caring and more approachable than she had ever been before.

There were 64 girls in my classroom, and we had a system where the first ten in academic standing were recognized for their achievement with the rank stated on their report card.  I was ranked tenth when mid-term results came around.  I was so happy.  I can still recall that feeling of achievement – my heart soared.  I was sure my mother would be proud of my achievement – she took one look at my report card and said “you’re doing this material for the second time, you should have ranked first”.  Well, that was the day I took back my control a second time.  I heard the voice in my head again “you don’t know who I am” it said. I decided that I wasn’t going to let anyone steal my joy.  I decided that I didn’t care what anyone else thought – they weren’t me.  I decided that I was the only one who truly knew who I was and what I was capable of, and I decided that that was enough.

I never looked back.  Since then I have excelled at everything I put my mind to.  It wasn’t that my parents stopped making decisions for me, they didn’t – they decided what profession I should study for, which university I should go to, who I should marry and most other things.  I decided that regardless of what they decided I would always keep my thoughts mostly to myself – never attracting discussion or argument, and I would always be happy.

I did slip from my happy place from time to time, as the contrast in my life was quite interesting, but I never stayed in lower vibrations for long.  I always managed to come back up.

As I look back now, I understand that I learnt the art of lining up with whatever life brought my way.  Now having acquired the knowledge of Abraham’s teachings, I am more consciously using the law of attraction to improve my life experience as well as that of those around me.

I have anchored the feeling that I felt when I heard the voice of my Inner-being saying “they don’t know who I am – I’m going to show them”.  I can go back there at will.  That is the feeling of power, and invincibility.  Back then when I was nine, I didn’t know what an anchor was, but I knew the power I felt within me and I called on that power often – now I know the fancy name for it is anchoring!

Do you have an event in your life that served as a turning point for you?  

An event that made you take your power back?  Can you bring the feeling place of it into your heart and mind right now in this moment?  If you can recreate the feeling of this event then you have something that you can anchor and use at will to help you up the emotional scale.  Here's what to do.  Pre-pave by saying to yourself, "I am going to recreate this event with the intention of anchoring the feeling place of it so that every time I go back to it, I turn on my power.  I am going to link this feeling with a physical action such as touching my left ear lobe with my left hand to create a link, so that every time I perform the action the feeling of the event returns to me - this is going to be my power switch".  Now recreate the event in your mind and feel the feeling of it.  Do this every day, until you reach a place where when you do the physical action (push the button, flip the switch) you can feel all the feelings associated with it.  Doing this repeatedly will get positive momentum going in your life - and we all know the power of momentum!

There is much love here for you all.

Zehra