I would really like to stop self-sabotaging myself, because I am truly tired of this. No matter how much I love to do something, anything - the moment it turns into work that HAS to be done, I just can't. Hence, procrastination to the last possible overwhelming second. It's like I lose my alignment and so much resistance comes up. It has been like this for almost 8-10 years now, and is not getting me anywhere! I don't know how to tackle this and go around it.
So many unfinished projects, ideas, subjects, skills - university work right now which needs immediate attention (can feel anxiety creeping in now that I have put it off till Sunday evening). It all feels SO EXCITING first (I actually enjoy these topics) UNTIL they turn into work that has to be done.
A big thank you in advance!
My View: You need to ask yourself the question "which thought feels better?" the thought of finishing what I started or the thought of starting something new. You see it doesn't matter how many projects are unfinished as long as leaving them unfinished is not keeping you from something that is even more important. Let me give you an example; making home cooked fresh dinner for my children is more important to me than relaxing after a long day. I would much rather do the cooking than feel bad that I didn't. So feeling tired is a small price to pay for the satisfaction of giving my children a healthy home cooked meal. Everything is comparative - in other words a matter of perspective. I have more unfinished books than I have published books because I have a lot of fun just in the idea of writing the book - I am always happy to start a new project - the fun is in the birthing of the idea - and the book that keeps me birthing more and more ideas to put in it is the one that gets completed. But both the finished ones as well as the unfinished ones are fun to do. Now, after I have written the book and received the first printed copy of it the fun is over, and even before I get that copy I am already playing with new ideas in my head - that is the creative process - it's always about moving forward - the new and shiny! Just have fun and if the thought of not finishing a project feels bad then do something about it - don't just sit there with the bad feeling. I say that all the time - when the garbage needs to be taken out, procrastination does not help it just makes the situation worse - might as well take the garbage out than have it accumulate. Simply put, when you ask the question "which thought feels better? getting my work done and feeling accomplished or leaving it till the last minute and feeling overwhelmed?" then you can never go wrong - can you? That's asking for guidance and when the guidance comes act on it, because when you don't act on it - that's when you feel bad.
Thank you so much for the elaborate comments. I do understand this, but it feels like people saying "just snap out of your depression!" I want to do it and still don't, it feels crippling. Where does the fun go? I really want to know what is wrong with me. What tools/motivation can actually break the resistance in my head and make me do it. I guess I have some beliefs about "work" to change.
This sounds really negative and maybe not such a big deal but it is really what I feel like.
Ask yourself if the people who tell you to just snap out of it understand the law of attraction? If they don’t understand the Law of Attraction then let their comments go – don’t absorb them and make yourself feel worse – how does that serve you? Tell yourself “they don’t know any better, they are well meaning and that’s nice”. Because that is true, isn’t it? You see, you can’t lie yourself into feeling better. You feel better only when you soothe yourself with your self-talk by remembering things that are one hundred percent true.
The crippling feeling comes from splitting your vibration – it comes from being indecisive, which means going positive and negative at the same time. Here’s what’s happening for you:
“I must do this work – it has a deadline – but I don’t feel like doing it just now. But I have to do it – I’m not feeling good – this means I shouldn’t do it. I will do it later when I feel better. I should be doing my work – I’m running out of time, I don’t like to be rushed and overwhelmed, but I’ve already wasted so much time. I can’t possibly do a good job now, I won’t get the grades I want to get – I feel terrible, I shouldn’t have left it this late, I’m too anxious now I feel paralysed – I don’t even know where to start – it’s hopeless – I should just give up now – what’s the point?”
You see how that is going negative and increasing negative momentum – that increased negative momentum is what causes the crippling feeling of self-sabotage.
Try this instead:
“I must do this work – it has a deadline – I don’t feel like doing it just now, but if I start now I will have more time to figure it out. I can always take breaks in between my work. I like having lots of time to get my projects done. I like doing a good job. I like feeling like I’m staying on top of things. It will feel so good when I get this work done. Maybe I can even get it done early and then I will have time left over to enjoy and relax. I like that feeling. I think this is a good plan. I do like my work. I do like the feeling of doing well at it. Let’s get started.”
Do you see how this sort of self-talk is more positive? That’s all it takes – using the right self-talk, to generate the right momentum.
Thank you - Re-reading the solutions above,
1- Work on changing my self-talk;
2- Choose the better feeling thought
3- Stick to this decision, instead of constantly giving out mixed vibes.
Response: Perfect! You got it!
Managing our self-talk is the key to success. Knowing how to offer thoughts that generate powerful positive momentum is at the basis of it. Most people think that they are being positive, but in reality they split their vibration without knowing it. The process of thought mapping described in the article Winter Blues can be helpful in showing you what your habit of thought is and how to turn it around.
8/6/2018 05:45:00 pm
This question and response helped me so much! It may as well have been my own question. Thank you for sharing your story. I actually think a lot of people can relate to this but are afraid talk about it.
8/21/2018 02:09:11 pm
Thank you so much for your question! That’s been the story of my life!
10/9/2018 10:20:28 am
Wow, timely question and brilliant answer! This hits me in many and deeper level. I really appreciate this.
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