Zehra: Coming to Canada was a big change. Back in Pakistan summer temperature is 46 C, so 10 C is winter. The "contrast" was wonderful. I loved and appreciated having four seasons, and fall colours. I never thought about going to live somewhere warm. I accepted that this was my home, so I never pushed back. It was an adventure, and a lot of fun. I believed that we have the capacity to adapt, and that I would adapt. One spring day I woke up to the realization that 10 C felt warm. I enjoyed knowing that. Everyone has different preferences and I guess I just absolutely love the changing seasons. Coming to Canada and hearing people talk about how grey the day was, and the cold and humid days made me realize that it's how we look at things. In Karachi an overcast sky and rain are both welcome as they provide relief from the heat. I love overcast skies and rain even today. When you wake up in the morning and just feel happy, it makes for a very good day regardless of the weather. I was thinking about it actually, how when I was a kid, just waking up was fun. When a special event was involved it was even more fun. But really, just waking up was so much fun. Then somehow that feeling went away as I got into the so called rat race. But over the past few years, working with the law of attraction and finding peace within, I am finding that joy again. It's just so good to wake up and get going. No planning required. Just enjoy whatever is before me every day. I go to work happy. I love playing with my Unlimited Friends. I come home feeling happy and satisfied. I love hugging my children. I love petting my animals and I enjoy all my chores. Life is good. When I write, I feel a strong current of energy flowing through me - I love it. I love my life. I find value in myself and others. I remind myself every day that the people in my life are an extension of God. I love everything I do, and when I don't feel like it, I don't do it. That's why my blog posts are irregular - I only write when I feel the urge. Same goes for my webinars and everything else I do - that keeps the enjoyment alive. So basically that's how I live my life. If a particular day feels too cold, I remind myself that spring is only a few weeks away, and how much fun it will be to see the trees waking up. When the snow removal feels too much, I remind myself that I chose to live in this house and how much I love being here. When I feel sorry for myself because there is no one to help, I remind myself that I am enough, and that I have the universe backing me up, and that all things are possible. So you see, I do feel the contrast, but I make peace with it by looking beyond it, and life just keeps getting better and better and better.
It's what we say to ourselves when we are experiencing the contrast that makes the difference. Contrast creates negative momentum if we spend too much time thinking about it. We have to soothe the negative momentum so that we can minimize resistance. When we do that all things work out. You see we don't really have to tell the universe what we prefer - the universe knows with absolute clarity what our preferences are and in what order to bring them to us based on our being vibrationally ready to receive them.
Going from the contrast of the rainy days to finding things to appreciate is actually not helping you Ruth - it is increasing the contrast because you are trying to make too big a jump. What you want to do is to soothe yourself with respect to the weather but don't try and fall in love with it - that is too big a jump. When you try to appreciate something you don't like you increase negative momentum and it becomes harder instead of easier. Soothe yourself by saying things like "aren't I lucky I get to travel more than most people and I have the opportunity to experience other climates and places". Then go into appreciation - but not for the weather, instead focus your appreciation on something that is easy for you to appreciate, like your son. Always appreciate those things that are easy to appreciate and soothe yourself about things that feel hard. Make sense? The Four Step Process: |
Ruth: Thank you for reminding me of the 4 step process and the advice about not making too big a leap. I just took a moment to use the process and am sharing it here in case you'd like to offer any suggestions. I think I deviated from the structure a bit:
Step 1) The weather is turning to fall and winter and I really prefer sunny, warm weather
Step 2) I want to feel better about living here all times of the year, not just when it's sunny
Step 3-4) Soothing statement: There are many things that I love about this area, and the rain is actually what helps make this place special. Everything is lush and green, and the air is so clean. Sometimes at this time of year when I walk through the woods, even on a grey day, I can smell the sweet smell of pine in the air. I know that one day I will be living in a place that is warm and sunny most of the time, but it will be different. The place I live in now is so very special because of all of its aspects including the rain, which also creates the streams which allow our precious salmon to exist. I know I will eventually be someplace else, and I might even miss things about this area. My time here is relatively short, which makes even these rainy days precious.
I also am very fortunate to have travelled to many other places, and it's only from my experiences in those places and here that I have clarity on what I want. I am looking forward to my upcoming trip to see Abraham next month where the weather will be sunny and warm; I am so blessed to be able to travel so easily.
Where I live now is so much more aligned to my preferences, in terms of the weather and the scenery and the people. During this time of year, where I used to live, it would be sooo cold I sometimes could not breathe. It's so nice to be able to go outside all year round and breathe deeply. It just keeps getting better and better.
Step 1) The weather is turning to fall and winter and I really prefer sunny, warm weather
Step 2) I want to feel better about living here all times of the year, not just when it's sunny
Step 3-4) Soothing statement: There are many things that I love about this area, and the rain is actually what helps make this place special. Everything is lush and green, and the air is so clean. Sometimes at this time of year when I walk through the woods, even on a grey day, I can smell the sweet smell of pine in the air. I know that one day I will be living in a place that is warm and sunny most of the time, but it will be different. The place I live in now is so very special because of all of its aspects including the rain, which also creates the streams which allow our precious salmon to exist. I know I will eventually be someplace else, and I might even miss things about this area. My time here is relatively short, which makes even these rainy days precious.
I also am very fortunate to have travelled to many other places, and it's only from my experiences in those places and here that I have clarity on what I want. I am looking forward to my upcoming trip to see Abraham next month where the weather will be sunny and warm; I am so blessed to be able to travel so easily.
Where I live now is so much more aligned to my preferences, in terms of the weather and the scenery and the people. During this time of year, where I used to live, it would be sooo cold I sometimes could not breathe. It's so nice to be able to go outside all year round and breathe deeply. It just keeps getting better and better.
Zehra: Hummm…
Thank you for sharing Ruth.
I am reproducing your four step process below with comments:
1) The weather is turning to fall and winter [where you are]
2) I really prefer sunny, warm weather but for now I want to feel better about living here all times of the year, not just when it's sunny [where you want to be]
[It’s ok to mix 3 and 4 as long as you are going in one direction. When I read what you have written I find you going forward and then backward all the way to the end. See below]
3-4) Soothing statement: There are many things that I love about this area, and the rain is actually what helps make this place special. Everything is lush and green, and the air is so clean. Sometimes at this time of year when I walk through the woods, [even on a gray day – backward – if you delete this you will be going forward], I can smell the sweet smell of pine in the air. [now you’re going back to step 2, and this is backward, because it is what you want and if you were aligned with it you would be living it, so going there is actually a step backward or too big a jump at this stage] I know that one day I will be living in a place that is warm and sunny most of the time, but it will be different. The place I live in now is so very special because of all of it's aspects including the rain, which also creates the streams which allow our precious salmon to exist. [Backward again] I know I will eventually be someplace else, and I might even miss things about this area [now you’re [now you’re just trying too hard]. My time here is relatively short, which makes even these rainy days precious [again trying too hard].
I also am very fortunate to have traveled to many other places, and it's only from my experiences in those places and here that I have clarity on what I want. I am looking forward to my upcoming trip to see Abraham next month where the weather will be sunny and warm; I am so blessed to be able to travel so easily [this is good – you can feel the ease of these words, this is more soothing than the paragraph above].
Where I live now is so much more aligned to my preferences, in terms of the weather and the scenery and the people [no it’s not – this is too big a jump, when you make a statement that is not 100% true you widen the gap. Everything you have said prior points to the fact that you would much rather not be where you are]. During this time of year, where I used to live, it would be sooo cold I sometimes could not breathe [why bring the past into the future – even though you are trying to point out the fact that you are better off now than you were before, you don’t have to go to something you don’t like in order to do so – this is a perfect example of how explanations take us in the opposite direction to what we want]. It's so nice to be able to go outside all year round and breathe deeply. It just keeps getting better and better.
Thank you for sharing Ruth.
I am reproducing your four step process below with comments:
1) The weather is turning to fall and winter [where you are]
2) I really prefer sunny, warm weather but for now I want to feel better about living here all times of the year, not just when it's sunny [where you want to be]
[It’s ok to mix 3 and 4 as long as you are going in one direction. When I read what you have written I find you going forward and then backward all the way to the end. See below]
3-4) Soothing statement: There are many things that I love about this area, and the rain is actually what helps make this place special. Everything is lush and green, and the air is so clean. Sometimes at this time of year when I walk through the woods, [even on a gray day – backward – if you delete this you will be going forward], I can smell the sweet smell of pine in the air. [now you’re going back to step 2, and this is backward, because it is what you want and if you were aligned with it you would be living it, so going there is actually a step backward or too big a jump at this stage] I know that one day I will be living in a place that is warm and sunny most of the time, but it will be different. The place I live in now is so very special because of all of it's aspects including the rain, which also creates the streams which allow our precious salmon to exist. [Backward again] I know I will eventually be someplace else, and I might even miss things about this area [now you’re [now you’re just trying too hard]. My time here is relatively short, which makes even these rainy days precious [again trying too hard].
I also am very fortunate to have traveled to many other places, and it's only from my experiences in those places and here that I have clarity on what I want. I am looking forward to my upcoming trip to see Abraham next month where the weather will be sunny and warm; I am so blessed to be able to travel so easily [this is good – you can feel the ease of these words, this is more soothing than the paragraph above].
Where I live now is so much more aligned to my preferences, in terms of the weather and the scenery and the people [no it’s not – this is too big a jump, when you make a statement that is not 100% true you widen the gap. Everything you have said prior points to the fact that you would much rather not be where you are]. During this time of year, where I used to live, it would be sooo cold I sometimes could not breathe [why bring the past into the future – even though you are trying to point out the fact that you are better off now than you were before, you don’t have to go to something you don’t like in order to do so – this is a perfect example of how explanations take us in the opposite direction to what we want]. It's so nice to be able to go outside all year round and breathe deeply. It just keeps getting better and better.
Here is how I would do it:
- Winter is coming and I don’t like it
- I would like to live in a warm and sunny climate
- I’ve moved before for the better and I know I will move again and it will be better still. In the meantime, I will do my best to enjoy the wonderful things in my now environment, for there are many. I love the greenery and the trees and the streams. I love the salmon. I love smelling the scent of pine in the air. I love how fresh and clean the air feels. I love the people that I’ve created friendships with, and for now living here serves my purpose. I am quite happy to let the universe decide the right timing and right direction of my next move.
- The universe knows what I want. The universe knows that I enjoy bright sunny days. I enjoy walks on the beach, and through forests. I enjoy breathing fresh air, and spending time outdoors. I enjoy how my body feels when warm sunlight washes over me. I enjoy wading through fresh water. I enjoy feeling light and happy. And I acknowledge that I have some of all of that in my life today. And I acknowledge that I want more of that. And I know that I am moving towards it even as I speak and one day when I am ready I will find myself living in the perfect place for me. It makes me happy to think that I am on my way, and I am looking forward to the journey as it unfolds. In the meantime, I will enjoy what each day has to offer. I love my life. I love me. I love my family. And for now I am complete.
See how the vibration here is moving in one direction? There is no backward and then forward movement – just one clear direction.
Step four can be appreciation of something completely different too – so instead of appreciating what you like about weather, you could go into appreciation for your son, and the overall affect would be the same because you would have stayed in the vibration of appreciation, and that is the only important thing. The subject of your appreciation is not as important as just being able to feel the feeling of appreciation inside you. Make sense?
The most important thing about doing the four step process is that every statement has to be 100% true from your personal perspective.
Step four can be appreciation of something completely different too – so instead of appreciating what you like about weather, you could go into appreciation for your son, and the overall affect would be the same because you would have stayed in the vibration of appreciation, and that is the only important thing. The subject of your appreciation is not as important as just being able to feel the feeling of appreciation inside you. Make sense?
The most important thing about doing the four step process is that every statement has to be 100% true from your personal perspective.
Ruth: Yes, your notes and especially how you would have used the 4 step process was very helpful. I can see the difference when I compare your example from what I wrote. Thanks for the clarity
Zehra thanks again for your comments. I understood all your notes except the places where you pointed out that I was trying too hard. I was wondering, what is a good way to tell when I am doing that?
Zehra thanks again for your comments. I understood all your notes except the places where you pointed out that I was trying too hard. I was wondering, what is a good way to tell when I am doing that?
Zehra: What a wonderful question Ruth. It becomes obvious to me because I feel you forcing the issue, or going against the tide. When I am listening to people I am also reading their energy, and so when I coach a lot of what I am coaching you on is what is non-verbal. Sort of the same process that Esther and Abraham have when someone is in the hot seat. But of course they are much more practiced at it than I am.
That being said, an easy way for you to figure out what you are doing is by using a line diagram.
I will do a short video for you to demonstrate what I mean tomorrow night.
That being said, an easy way for you to figure out what you are doing is by using a line diagram.
I will do a short video for you to demonstrate what I mean tomorrow night.
Notes to the video:
Zehra: Hi Ruth, you cannot make progress going up the emotional scale if your energy is zigzagging. If you try to make any statement that is not true you go negative. Each and every statement in the four step process has to be true and has to be positive. Doing the four step process will teach you how to think positively by flowing your energy in a positive direction. Remember that the topic on which you speak is not important - the only important thing is the direction of the energy you are flowing. Make sense?
A statement can be true, and pointed in a negative direction, and a statement can be untrue but positively worded - both will prevent you from going up the scale. The four step process is all about going up the emotional scale, but first you have to stop the downward trend with soothing and then increase positive momentum with appreciation. Emotions change so rapidly that most people can't differentiate the fact that they are zigzagging rather than going in a clear positive direction.
Zehra: Hi Ruth, you cannot make progress going up the emotional scale if your energy is zigzagging. If you try to make any statement that is not true you go negative. Each and every statement in the four step process has to be true and has to be positive. Doing the four step process will teach you how to think positively by flowing your energy in a positive direction. Remember that the topic on which you speak is not important - the only important thing is the direction of the energy you are flowing. Make sense?
A statement can be true, and pointed in a negative direction, and a statement can be untrue but positively worded - both will prevent you from going up the scale. The four step process is all about going up the emotional scale, but first you have to stop the downward trend with soothing and then increase positive momentum with appreciation. Emotions change so rapidly that most people can't differentiate the fact that they are zigzagging rather than going in a clear positive direction.
Ruth Lopez Thanks so much for taking the time to create this video, Zehra. I am going to watch it a few times to ensure I fully understand. I get most of what you said. I am wondering a couple of things: 1) I was trying to use the instructions about coming up with Past Positive statements but I probably should refrain from using that option until I understand how to do it with purely positive energy, 2) in using the 4 step process I was trying to move up the Emotional Scale, and so some of my statements were not purely positive. So, is it better to do a different process before this one, to get above the worry line first? Or try it like I did, and then go back and try to identify the parts where I am going negative? They're not that easy to spot, because those statements did feel better from where I was before.
The example you gave is very helpful to understand what it's supposed to look like in terms of energy flowing and building in the positive direction. When people are learning to use the 4 step process, do you recommend to go back and revise our first drafts to see where we can say things better?
The example you gave is very helpful to understand what it's supposed to look like in terms of energy flowing and building in the positive direction. When people are learning to use the 4 step process, do you recommend to go back and revise our first drafts to see where we can say things better?
Zehra Mahoon I don't recommend going back - there is no going back - just going forward. Pick something else and work on it, and let this go - hanging on to it means hanging on to the vibration and the resistance of it. Divert your attention and go back to it another time.
You only need to do the four step process when something is in your face all the time that you cannot stop looking at. But if there was something that wasn't really all that important and did not bother you on a frequent basis - it would be better to just stay away form it.
Lastly, do the work to feel good and not necessarily to make something happen - when you want to make something happen, you are invariably trying too hard, because you are coming from the realization that something you want is missing. Make sense?
You only need to do the four step process when something is in your face all the time that you cannot stop looking at. But if there was something that wasn't really all that important and did not bother you on a frequent basis - it would be better to just stay away form it.
Lastly, do the work to feel good and not necessarily to make something happen - when you want to make something happen, you are invariably trying too hard, because you are coming from the realization that something you want is missing. Make sense?
Up-date posted Feb 3rd, 2018.
Ruth Lopez I just wanted to give an update on this question: Zehra, this is the first winter in almost 20 years that I have not experienced the effects of "seasonal affectiveness disorder."
I had probably done the 40 Day Workout at least twice by the time I posted this question, and then the exercise we did above was extremely helpful. In fact, after our discussion, I basically let it all go and stopped thinking about it :)
It has been such a lovely, productive, peaceful, healthy winter. Thank you for your books as well as your coaching here in this group!
Ruth Lopez I just wanted to give an update on this question: Zehra, this is the first winter in almost 20 years that I have not experienced the effects of "seasonal affectiveness disorder."
I had probably done the 40 Day Workout at least twice by the time I posted this question, and then the exercise we did above was extremely helpful. In fact, after our discussion, I basically let it all go and stopped thinking about it :)
It has been such a lovely, productive, peaceful, healthy winter. Thank you for your books as well as your coaching here in this group!
3 Comments
Louise Blais
2/5/2018 06:59:19 pm
I cannot express how wonderful this blog made me feel. A thousand thanks to Ruth for the question, and to Zehra for the answer.
Elena
2/10/2018 07:20:01 pm
I love this post. Thank you so much for sharing your ideas Zehra.
Sumbal Tasawwar
8/12/2018 04:08:18 pm
My third time reading this post and taking away more nuggets of wisdom! Love you, Zehra!
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