The THREE major ROADBLOCKS to positive thinking [part 2]

​To recap, last week’s blog post talked about one of the three major roadblocks as being our autopilot or our obliviousness as to what is going on in our heads.  This haphazard directionless thinking results in haphazard results. To read how to address this problem, check out last week’s post.

Moving along, this week we are going to take apart and shred the second major road block to positive thinking: the inability to tell what is positive thinking and what is negative. I’ve always said that wanting positive results does not mean that you are positive thinking. If wanting good things was equal to positive thinking then you and I would already have everything you wanted and things would drop into your lap soon as you thought about them. 

Most people don’t realize that they are actually thinking about the opposite of what they want and therefore activating it. You might have heard it said that there is a very fine dividing line between love and hate – that’s actually full of c**p. The divide between love and hate is a very big one, however, you can love from a place of joy or you can love from a place of pain. In both cases you think you are loving the other person, and in that there is a fallacy.

Let me explain: A couple of years ago, my daughter who had just graduated from high school was about to venture away from home for the very first time going away to study in Wisconsin. Every time friends and family spoke to me about this, it was as if they were commiserating. They would say things like “you must be really upset that she is going so far away”, “your heart must be breaking, you will miss her so much”, or “you’re going to worry about how she’s doing, aren’t you?”. I would shake my head with amazement at all these well meaning comments.  It made me understand with force of clarity that our society co-relates how much we care about a person with how much worry we suffer on their account.  So, if you really worry, you really care, and if you don’t worry then you don’t care. What they are missing is the fact that worry is a negative energy – when you worry about someone you send them negative energy- is that what you really want to do? See, this is what I mean when I say that people don’t really understand what is negative, if they did, they wouldn’t be doing it.

Here’s another way of looking at it, that I find quite curious. When I coach individuals whose lover has put an end to their relationship, I find them in the depths of despair because they want their lover back. Then they give me the classic words “I love him/her so much it hurts”. Love is at the top of the emotional scale, it is a feeling that feels good and is full of joy. Love does not hurt; love feels like cotton candy. If you’re feeling hurt and calling it love, then you’ve got your emotional scale coiled up into a lump and have no idea which way is up and which way is down. If you send a vibration of excruciating pain towards someone, do you think their response will be to come running or go running? People naturally gravitate towards that which feels good – if you make someone feel bad, you are the last person on Earth they’re going to want to be with (provided they are sane and haven’t replaced their own guidance system with someone else’s).

Am I making sense here? Basically you cannot feel bad and allow something good to happen. So don’t call it love when it feels like pain, call it anger or powerlessness – all of those are not love.  If you really want to love, then make sure that’s the vibration you’re sending out into the Universe. 

When you don’t know with clarity if you are thinking negative or positive thoughts, you can go zigzag in your thoughts without out knowing it. It’s what Abraham (Hicks) call a wobble – meaning flip flopping between negative and positive thought. This results in split energy and split energy is not as powerful as focused energy. I always use the example of a javlin thrower. To throw the javlin the runner has to gain momentum by gaining speed as they run – which would result is greater speed – running in a straight line or running in a zigzag pattern? You get the idea – right?

What is confusing for a lot of people is that negative thoughts come disguised in positive wrapping. People share negative thoughts all the time on social media and position them as positive. Take this example: "Happy are those who take life day by day, complain very little, and are thankful for the little things in life". Sounds like a motivating uplifting message, but it is activating "complain". You cannot focus on something and not activate it. So the question is how can you say it better? Is it necessary to point to the fact that one should complain very little - how about eliminating that altogether? A better way to say it would be "Happy are those who take life day by day, and are thankful for the little things in life". Can you feel how this statement is better than the first. 
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Take a look at the thought map below from the book Manifesting Mistakes. This is an example of someone going zigzag – do you zigzag in your thoughts? There is an easy way to find out.  All you have to do is to tape yourself talking about a subject for 2 minutes, and then listen back, and draw an arrow for each sentence signifying its direction. It will give you a very good idea as to how you think your thoughts. The two minute exercise was first introduced in the book Thrive.

Use the thought map to re-focus the way you think – and you learn how to find alignment in a much faster way, which will result in a much happier and more fulfilled you!

I hope you found this article useful. Please leave me a comment to let me know, and if you have a question, send it along. I would love hearing from you either way.
Much love and appreciation
​Zehra